With as many as 10% of all affairs beginning online, being able to access information about a suspect partner’s social media and other online activities is a powerful tool for exposing a cheater. Although you may think that adultery is adultery, no matter how, when, or why it happens, experts suggest that this isn’t the case, instead suggesting that there are five different types of infidelity.
Is my partner cheating? To find out the answer to this before you indulge them with a big Valentine’s celebration, you might just want to check out these different varieties of cheats to make sure your love and loyalty are being reciprocated.
5 Types of Cheating
1. The Opportunistic Cheat
The reasons why people cheat vary from person to person and opportunistic cheaters are impulsive and disorganized. Although their infidelity isn’t calculated nor designed to hurt their partner, their lack of self-control makes it difficult for a partner to trust them. After all, if they gave in to temptation once, what will stop them from doing it a second, or even third, time?
2. The Commemorative Philanderer
Although we may not want to consider it, there are people who loved one another once but,, over time, that attraction and connection have gradually worn off. Once the love is gone, it’s all too tempting to find an alternative source of emotional attachment.
This type of scenario was far too common in the past when divorces were generally frowned upon, but still exists today as couples struggle to stay together for the sake of the kids or, in some instances, the bond!
Unfortunately, in this situation, the adulterer often feels justified in their actions, telling themselves that it’s only fair that they get the love and affection that they’re lacking in their current relationship from elsewhere.
Even if the other person in the relationship feels much the same, there is rarely an instance where they’re not hurt by their partner’s actions.
3. The Obligatory Offender
It may be difficult to understand why someone would feel obligated to cheat on their lover but it happens more often than you might expect. People who desperately need to be accepted and constantly seek the approval of their peers may feel forced into an act of infidelity. For example, someone may be unwilling to resist the advances of a colleague, especially one in a powerful position, fearing that it will negatively affect their career and working environment.
4. The Romantic Roamer
This is another type of infidelity that occurs when the emotional connection within a relationship has started to wane. Despite remaining committed to the relationship, the cheater is motivated to seek a more loving and intimate association with another person to compensate for all that’s lacking between themselves and their partner.
Although this kind of cheating is probably the most hurtful, it rarely leads to the end of the original relationship or marriage. Nevertheless, these affairs often continue for months or even years, placing a heavy emotional toll on all involved.
5. The Conflicted Amorous Adulterer
Similar to the Romantic Roamer, the Conflicted Adulterer loves their partner dearly but is the in the unfortunate position of loving another at the same time. While we like to believe that we can only truly love one person at a time, this isn’t always the case, and finding yourself torn between your feelings for two different people can be a tumultuous experience.
Situations like these are the most complex of all our spouse affairs and turn to cause the most pain and anxiety.
Cheating Partner Signs
In addition to that sickening gut feeling, if you suspect your partner is being unfaithful, it’s worth looking out for certain changes of behavior that might fuel your suspicions. Check out these classic signs of cheating and see if any of them sound familiar:
1. Bedroom Blues
There was a time when you couldn’t keep your hands off each but, as the relationship has developed and deepened, that passion has waned. This is pretty normal in most relationships but, if your partner starts showing little or no interest in sex, it could be because their affections are focused elsewhere.
Conversely, if your partner suddenly starts wanting to try new things in the bedroom that they’ve never shown an interest in before, it could be that they’ve learned a few new things outside of your relationship.
Any sudden or dramatic changes in your sex life could be indicative of an unfaithful spouse, in which case, a little research could go a long way to either silence your suspicions or confirm them.
2. Smartphone Secrecy
If your partner starts being particularly cagey about their smartphone you might start wondering, “Is my partner cheating?”. Partners who are reluctant to let their phone out of sight or lend it to you, the chances are they’re hiding something. Similarly, if they never previously used a PIN number or password to protect access to their digital devices but suddenly feel the need for this extra security, let your alarm bells ring.
Another habit to look out for is the continual deleting of past texts or browsing history while, if you partner starts taking their phone everywhere with them, including the bathroom, you should start getting seriously worried.
The first step in this situation is to ask to borrow their phone. If they refuse, it’s definitely seeking out a background check service that can help you get to the bottom of their behavior and expose whatever it is they’re trying to keep hidden.
3. In the Dead Zone
Your partner is never parted from his or her smartphone but when you message or phone, you can’t get hold of them. Ok, so there is always the possibility that, while they’re on the road, they’re hit a cellphone dead zone, but this justification only holds up for so long. If your spouse is away on a business trip and remains unreachable or fails to return your calls, consider this a real danger sign.
4. Relationship Retaliation
No matter how hard-hearted a person is, they’re likely to feel some kind of guilt if they’re betraying their loved one with another. These feelings of guilt and remorse sometimes evoke hostile behavior in which the adulterer hits out at their partner, blaming them for all the difficulties in the relationship.
As they attempt to process their internal rationalizations for cheating, they may externalize these feelings in the form of criticism of the other person. By telling themselves that their partner is no longer as attractive, as passionate, as dedicated as they once were, they can justify their need for an extramarital liaison.
5. Social Media Shenanigans
Chances are, you and your partner are connected on social media, enabling you to see whatever he or she posts. If you notice an increase in your partner’s social media activity, coupled with a disregard for your personal messages, it may be that they’re attempting to impress someone other than you.
If you’re in a happy and healthy relationship, your partner should consider communicating with you as being far more important than keeping his or her Facebook profile up-to-date. Things get even more serious when you notice your partner spending excessive amounts of time online but you never see the results of their labor. Maybe they have a hidden dating profile you know nothing about or an alternative social media profile that you’re not privy to? Either way, it’s worth running a Public Record Search to find out the truth.
To Catch a Cheater
There are many different answers to the problem of how to catch a cheating spouse, some of which are easier or more effective than others. Use any of the following techniques to establish if your suspicions were correct or if your spouse is truly faithful.
1. Reverse Phone Lookup
Most reputable background search services, like BeenVerified, offer a tool that can identify who a specific telephone number belongs to. Obviously, you need to get access to your partner’s phone before you can start digging around and finding out just who keeps calling him or her late at night. Even if your partner has password-protected their phone, it shouldn’t be too difficult to work out the password and get access to their contacts.
After that, BeenVerified can put you back in control of your life by giving you the power to find out exactly who it is that your partner is communicating with on such a regular basis. Not only will a reverse phone lookup reveal the person’s identity, but it will also tell you where they live, although visiting in person might not be such a great idea.
Once you’ve got a name, however, you can conduct a more comprehensive search that will produce results including their contact details, social media profiles, known associates and relatives, and a host of other information. With this kind of evidence in your possession, you should be able to get a confession from your partner and start rebuilding your relationship or ending it, depending on your level of commitment and the circumstances.
2. Hack the Tracker
If your partner has a tracker on their smartphone, or even on their car, if you can access their accounts, you should be able to find out where they’ve been and where they’re going.
The best smartphone trackers available are capable of monitoring a cheating partner’s calls, emails, and text messages, as well as tracing their movements. Using a smartphone tracker app to trace a device that doesn’t belong to you is perfectly legal, making it a more viable option than attempting to track your partner’s vehicle. Using a car tracker to find out your partner’s location is only legal if you’re the owner of the vehicle you’re tracking, so, no matter how desperate you are to uncover the truth, breaking the law to do is not advisable.
3. Browse their History
AS the internet becomes increasingly central to our communications and our lives in general, much of what we do and where we go is traceable via our browser history. Although more tech-savvy cheaters may delete their browsing history, many overlook just how revealing this list of sites can be. If you can get access to your partner’s PC or smartphone, you can access not only their browser history but also cookies that will also take you to recently visited sites.
If neither of these options is working for you, try accessing their temporary files folder and see where they’ve been recently. Obviously, if your partner has had the foresight to delete all traces of their online activity, you’ll have a tough time proving any wrongdoing, even though the effort they’ve gone to in order to hide their movements make fuel your suspicions even further.
4. Public Perusals
Another way in which a background check service can assist you in gathering evidence of adultery is through a search on your partner. Public records search engines will unearth even the most private of online accounts, including all their social media profiles and links to blogs and other content they visit on regular basis.
Before committing to a public record search, make sure you’re ready for the most unpleasant of surprises. Background checks of this nature are so comprehensive, they could dig a few unexpected skeletons out of your partner’s closet, including past marriages they’ve never discussed or past arrests that they’ve kept to themselves.
Technology is your friend when it comes to digging around in your loved one’s private life and the development of smartphone spyware has taken it to a new level. You need to be pretty sure about your partner’s unfaithfulness before you start investigating at this level as, the chances are, your partner will find out about it.
While spyware is the ultimate test of your partner’s faithfulness, giving you access to all their social media conversations, calls, GPS location, and messages, there may be certain legal implications you need to be aware of.
If you fear the worst and suspect your partner is straying away from your vows of love and loyalty, burying your head in the sand is only going to make matters worse. The best way of dealing with possible infidelity is to gather the evidence you need to confront your partner and find out what’s really going on.
Various technological developments can help you identify people who cheat, with online background check services giving you access to a host of information that could reveal and prove a spouse affair.
Living with the insecurity and uncertainty of suspicion takes its toll on both you and your relationship so why not take the bull by the horns and follow the advice in this guide on how to catch a cheating spouse. At least then you’ll know the truth and will be able to make an educated decision about how to proceed and whether it’s worth trying to rebuild a relationship with someone who cheats or whether it’s time to call it quits and look elsewhere.